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              Some people know what they want.Some are told whats good for them.Only a "desperate" person is valueless and prays on the weak hearted because of the desperation within.Your desperate unwilling to care but for one's self.Giving "it" only when your pray is at its weakest.Look,watch,then listen,show compasion,understanding then your desperation fades and your pray is captured.Beware!"Desperates",the pray you seek may be dangerious because some are unwilling to surrender.The "Desperates",now become the pray,and someone who has surrenderd there heart  to your pray will always be watching and protecting the one who has one's heart.
             Being concerned about a friend has meaning     as long as your not a "Despretitor"because hurting one who hold the heart may not be your pray after all........
           I'll fight to keep who I love,so dont become my pray,just keep moving on, .I know all,I 've seen all, and can be represented to provide the proof.So dont make a bad time,worse,or one will  lose it all because "I was right"but hoping I was wrong even more.........
6/ 5 /2002
"Why make an effort if the feelings are not there"
"If the feelings are still there,dont give up and hope its not to late"
"Go after what you want before its to late"
"Why bother to write when its all wrong"
"Show your love,give what they ask of you"
"Time heels and makes it easier to become more distant for what lie(s) ahead"
"To talk,is to heel,is to understand why"
"To not understand when your young,hurts the most when your older"
"A parent works well but two works even better than one"
Are you my friend or are you my fxckixg friend?..that was not a nice way of asking me what kind of  friend I am to you!!!
6/ 8 /2002
Someones missing and I cant seem to find her.Spending time with this woman is like a feeling I have'nt felt in years.Although time is short,that special girl made me feel free to enjoy life again.It's funny to think that someone you dont know and have never met before could be such a friend for a short time.14 years(13 years and 10 month)was not a waste of time as I thought,there was many good times to remember and not to many bad times to forget.Its sometimes good to talk to someone and finding out that they were in a simular situations herself and she got her life back,even though she is back with the one she loved and is married to,this girl is flying back to Washington and getting back what she wanted all along.We must have talked for hours and it was all about her and how she viewed her life before.Here are two people with absolutly nothing in commin but our life's were so much the same.Money has nothing to do with love because she told me that she bought this plane ticket to anywhere and she ended up in my home town,alone.Going out in a town she knows nothing about,in a place she never was before,talking to a guy that really did not care for her type(very upscale lifestyle)and just looked the other way.That is until I spilled my beer all over this other dude that was trying to sweet talk her to dance.Spilling beer was a true accident,and she laughed so hard she spelt her drink on me.We ended up talking and I found out she was from Washington and just wanted to get away from her home life for a while,so she jumped on a plane and ended up here sitting with me.A very pretty woman with a hole lot of money,that was in the same place as me and in life.What are the chances that would happen?No names were exchanged just our troubles and life's adventure.Its was weird,she said that she wanted to by me this drink,ok I said and I dont know what it was but it made me real friggin drunk on top of 4 beers already.She said "good bye and we will never see each other again"That was so true and sitting at a bar and talking to a woman for 7 hours was something special to me and to her also. I learned that all the money in the world and you still can have the same problems.What made me think the most was when she said that her husband and I were to much alike,wierd very wierd.................
6/9/2002 10:57pm
Not much to say here but to all friends,if your in a situation please ask for help,it might save all that you have lost because rebuilding your life over again just plain sucks
,but if you have a "special someone" maybe on the side,the rebiulding part will be easy.
"Sorry I'll take the right road and it will be rough at first but at least I still have respect for myself"
6/11/2002 8:26pm
You made me mad and pissed me off,for the last time.If you play with there feelings again,you might be your own best friend.Dealing with your own thoughts and feelings are hiding behind a person who needs attention to keep them from comming out.The way people think in life and about life is like finding 2 rocks that are the same.I think as long as the 2 rocks come from the same pile,then its a good thing.get it?
"Forget about the past,its how you feel now,that counts for tomarrow"
6/18/2002 9:09pm
Being in love,hummm,now thats a lost thought.Did you ever care for someone so much,just to find out that every thought you had was worthless.Words,like in a song are worthless unless they have some meaning to you.Its kind of like being in love,spoken words with no meaning,a worthless waste."If I have known now,way back when,who knows what today might be like.Can't live in the past but only hold it responsible for what is today and who thinks they know all,are you right or wrong,your thoughts are right in a loveless world... 
From a friend
Forget her name and face,
Forget her kiss and warm embrace,
Forget the things she used to say,
Remember now she's gone away.
Forget the times that went so fast,
Forget her love which now has passed,
Forget the things she used to do,
Remember now she loves him too.
Forget the love that you once shared,
Forget the fact that she once cared,
Forget the way she said your name,
Remember now things arent the same.
Forget the talks that you once had,
Forget the thought it makes you sad,
Forget that you said u would wait,
Remember now her love is hate.
Forget her when they play our song,
Forget you cried the whole night long,
Forget she said she'd leave you never,
Remember now she's gone forever!

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